I Want It That Way

I will admit that I started this day with a piss poor attitude. To my surprise, that changed when I got to work. I worked with some fun people and even got a call from another great friend! My positive attitude just kept getting better even on my drive home. I rocked out to some Backstreet Boys and made an ass out of myself dancing and singing. My favorite thing to do is find a moment each day to make an ass out of myself. And since I'm socially awkward, I have no trouble doing so. But those stories are for another time. 

Memorial Day

Finding the positives in the day isn't always easy. When you are feeling down and out, sometimes its hard to even want to focus on the good. But then there are days like today that feel like an emotional rollercoaster. I get angry or frustrated, and a little bit later the sun shines through and I feel the positivity flowing. I'm happy to say that since starting this blog, it has gotten easier to pull myself into the positive side of things. The best part of the day is always crawling into my nice warm bed, but tonight I was met with an ugly sight. A huge hole in my sheets. How in the hell did I miss that? Well, let me just say, my sheets picked a good time to bite the dust because I went online to order some new ones and found a super cute design for 70% off! That's right!! I saved money!! Woo hoo!! Best way to end the night!! I'm a nerd. I know. I like deals. But awesome deals like that cannot be beat! I win at life!! 

It's All About The Climb

I'm slowly starting to feel better and not feel so crappy. I'm still low on energy, but that seems to be gradually returning. I'm hoping that tonight will include an uninterrupted nights rest. For the past few nights, I was up every couple hours. I'm more than ready for a good night's sleep. 

Tired and Low Energy

For the past few days I've been feeling a little under the weather and have been been tired. Today has been a not so good day. Feeling dizzy, lightheaded, and pretty run down/no energy. I'm fairly certain that my hemoglobin is low. Hopefully, I'll start feeling better in the next few days. Until then, I'm gonna rest up and make Ben pamper me a little.

This sucks

Totally forgot to do a post tonight because I'm not feeling the greatest. All I have to say is being a girl sucks!! Men, be thankful that you don't have to deal with periods and cramps and everything that goes along with it. This sucks ass.

Icy Breath of Death

The icy breath of death was on my neck tonight. My life flashed before my eyes... it was short and dull. But before I get to that, let me say that work tonight was wonderful. Great people working, lots of laughs, and some work got done too. All around good night where you can't ask for much better. Ok, now back to my near death experience. So I drove to my mom's after work to spend the night due to some early appointments that are all near her house. I came in, dropped off my stuff, and went upstairs to let Elvis out of my mom's room (otherwise he just cries at the gate). So both dogs follow me back downstairs and into the kitchen where I begin to fix myself a snack. When I turn around, I see a huge spider on the ground. I gasp in horror at how ugly it is, trying not to scream and wake up my mom. I point to it like that will do much of anything. The dogs see me pointing, Elvis sniffs it and walks away, but then my life saver Easter saved her mom. Just as the spider pulled a large knife from his back pocket, Easter sniffed him and then ate him. To add insult to injury to that bastard spider, Easter chewed on him more than she chews her food. And to top it off, when she was through, she let out a little burp. Almost as if the spider was admitting defeat. And that's how my meth mouth puppy saved the day. 

Explosions in my Head

Sometimes, I feel like all I do is bang my head against a wall and get nowhere. It seems as though the words I speak go in one ear and out the other. But then again, some people just get me. They understand me without having to speak. I have to say, my saving grace this evening was the wonderful people I work with. Tonight was a great group of people to work with and makes a difficult night just a tad bit better. I'm not even dreading going to work tomorrow because I know they will be there to make me laugh and we will get each other through the shift. 

Ok, so this is a little not on topic, but I've been binge watching Breaking Bad and I don't want to stop. I'm a few episodes into season 3, just watched the one where he throws a pizza onto the roof. Laughed my ass off. It has the dark humor that I miss from Sons of Anarchy. I need to go to bed and stop binge watching. 

Stars in the Sky

There really isn't anything quite like the tranquility of nature to calm the soul. I'm a chronic over thinker and when my brain gets fired up, sometimes it doesn't stop. But tonight was different. I decided to take a nice long walk around the lake with Easter and just take in the beauty of the setting sun over the lake. We braved the heat and kept walking. The calmness on the lake was absolutely beautiful. Not even a ripple could be seen. The calmness seemed to permeate my soul and the stillness that was the lake made it's way into my brain and soul. It seemed to quiet every fear, every doubt. Just peace. And as we took a final walk just now, there was not a cloud in the sky. The stars were shining brightly, and there was a stillness in the air. No barking dogs, no cars speeding by. Just me, Easter, and the stars. Perfect ending to the day. No over thinking tonight. Just peace. 

Monday, Monday

I had a lovely day off today. I didn't do a whole lot, but for some reason I'm tired. Must have wore myself out by getting my steps in today. I'm looking forward to another day off, but this one will have to be productive. The laundry is piling up, dishes need to be done from the awesome meal I cooked tonight, and it's probably time to do some dusting and vacuuming. Ugh. I hate having to be an adult. I'd rather nap all day and have someone pamper me. Well, here's hoping I win the lottery so I can pay someone to pamper me! Maybe I should start by buying a lottery ticket....

Date Day

Today was a day for relaxing, having fun, and laughing with my boyfriend. We spent the morning bowling, had lunch and then went grocery shopping. It was much needed after a stressful week. I'm hoping my next few days off will bring more relaxation and laughter. 

On Call

I was so happy to be on call for work today. It was a welcomed break from the hectic work week. To make things even better was that I never got called in. So, I was forced to stick close to home, spend the day relaxing, and wait for a call that never came. I was more than ok with that. Easter and I took a nice long walk around the lake to take in the beautiful weather! Later on, I enjoyed a yummy dinner out with Ben. We came home and watched a scary movie and now I am laying in bed with the lights on. I'm a baby. It might be a long night. 

Full Moon

With the coming of the full moon tomorrow night, I was for sure thinking that today would be a day from hell at work. As you know, the full moon draws out the crazies and makes my job a living hell for a few days. I have to say... I was dead wrong. Tonight was one of the best nights I've had in a very long time! My patients were awesome, and one in particular just totally made my night!! I was able to laugh and joke and have good conversations with him all night which made for a very enjoyable evening!! I ALMOST didn't want to leave!! I know right, crazy! It's patients like him that make me so happy to be a nurse and remind me of why I do this!! Tonight was definitely a positive boost for moral and I am so thankful for that!! 

Pooped Pup

Oh man. It's gonna be a long weekend. Today was my Monday and I'm already feeling quite exhausted. Maybe it's because I didn't sleep very well last night. Hopefully, tonight I'll be able to get a better nights rest. Even though I hate adult ingredients, I'm thankful to have a job. With a looming strike and the thought of not having an income in the back of my mind, I can take this time to appreciate the fact that I am employed and have a set of skills that make me an asset to my any employer. I hope I can keep that positive thought throughout this long weekend.

Nurses United

Busy day today picketing downtown. It was a great experience and I am proud to say I was a part of it. Being surrounded by that many nurses, fighting for what we and our patient's deserve was a very empowering moment. And now I am utterly exhausted!!

Thinking of Dad

This day is always a tough one- my dad's birthday. If you don't know, my dad passed away when I was 11. It hasn't been easy seeing others around me grow up with their dad's and I didn't have mine. His birthday and anniversary of his death are difficult days to get through without breaking down into tears at least once. If I could, I would spend the day in bed with the covers over my head until the day ended. But I live in the real world where life goes on and you have to roll with the punches. So today I got up, put my big girl panties on, and went to work. It was actually a good distraction from the memories of the day. I'm kind of glad that I wasn't able to just spend the day in bed. I was forced to move forward. Just like in life. You can choose to stay in one spot and dwell on the things that you can't change, or you can move forward and go on living. Don't let yourself get stuck on something you can't change. Learn to take that first step forward and don't look back. 

Back to the Grind

The work week has started and it's time to get back to the real world. It's my long work week and I'm tired already! Tonight wasn't too bad though! I got to spend time with some pretty awesome people and have a few laughs. That always makes the night so much better! I ended this night by doing a little baking for my awesome coworkers! And now it's time to rest up for the week ahead! 

Men At Work

Last night was an absolute blast!! Hanging with my bestie, watching men take off their clothes, and dancing the night away. All those fun things make for an incredible girls weekend. We woke up just as pooped as when we went to bed, because who sleeps well in a hotel bed after such an arousing performance? Not me that's who. The show was very fun and it kept us very entertained! It sure wore us out though! From dancing!! Get your minds out of the gutter!! I'm soooo looking forward to sleeping in my own big bed!! I'm gonna sleep so hard!! 

Cheese and Tupperware

What a wonderful day!!! I've spent the whole day with my best friend and got to watch a sexy man show! What more could a girl ask for? Maybe some sleep! I promise tomorrow's post will be longer,  but tonight I am exhausted. Dancing the night away sure tires a girl out!

Tune Up Day

Started the day of right with my annual physical. Everything got a tune up.... and I mean everything. Thankfully, that's done for the year. I spent the rest of the day hanging with my mom. Just us girls catching up and talking about things. It was enjoyable day! That's the things mom are the best at- making you feel loved and appreciated. Lately, I've been feeling quite down and like I'm not a priority for people. It seems like no matter how much effort I put into things, I don't get anything reciprocated. I work so hard and it feels like it goes unnoticed. So here I am standing up for myself (cuz if I don't, who else will?) and saying to the world that I AM good enough. I acknowledge all my hard work and I appreciate myself. I'm proud of myself for all I have accomplished in the past few years and what a strong person I have become. Things have happened in my life that taught me to be strong, and just recently I'm learning that I really am one tough cookie. I don't need anyone else to tell me those things because I know it. And that's all that matters. And I'll keep telling myself those things so that I can always hear them and remind myself what a bad ass person I am and continue to grow into. 

Almost Forgotten

I was so swept up with my book that I almost didn't write a post tonight. I kept telling myself 'just one more chapter and then I'll go to bed'. I had to force myself to put it down and get some rest. I have a day filled with appointments tomorrow which means this sleepy head needs to get up early. I hate that. So I better keep this short so I can turn in! 

Bad Ass

I'm good at what I do. Sometimes it gets hard to remember that, but taking a step back from the chaos and looking at the work I do, I realize that I not only just do my job, but I do it well. The thing that makes me good at my job is the people around me and the wonderful support they give me! I couldn't do my job without them. 

Not A Morning Person

It was confirmed yet again today that I am not a morning person. I am meant to sleep until noon, and stay up until 3am. I got to hang out with some pretty awesome friends today though!! And that always makes me happy. I have some amazing, funny, and weird friends. I love them all so much!!! I'm a very lucky lady to be surrounded by the funniest friends I could ever ask for! 

Roomie Date

I thought I was feeling better today, but then I was getting ready to leave the house for my dinner date with my college roomie. I had an "Uh oh, I need the bathroom NOW" kind of moment. There was no way I was canceling though. By the time we got to the restaurant and were seated, I had a second one of those moments. After that, I was ok. I took dinner slow, backed off when I started getting a stomach ache, and decided to take the rest home- where it was safe. I just got home a little while ago, and so far I'm feeling ok. Not great, but better than yesterday. I had a wonderful time catching up with my bestie!! We were reminiscing about the good old college days and how much we missed them, but we are both excited for the upcoming weekend!! It will be just like we are back in college!! Sweet dreams of girl's weekend will be had tonight! 

Sick Day

I'm thankful for a four hour low need for several reasons. The first being that I feel like absolute shit. The second was because I ran to see my mom for a little bit. I didn't call her when I got my low need so it was a surprise. She was very excited to see to me and I was glad to make her happy on Mother's Day!! I better get back to the bathroom, the throne is calling my name...

Three of Four

Tonight was a better night at work than the previous day I had. But as this working weekend comes to a close, I'm feeling quite exhausted. It doesn't help that I have been fighting a pounding headache for the past 5 hours. I'm very much looking forward to this weekend coming to a close, and enjoying a lovely 2 days off. I've already been in bed for 20 minutes now, when I'm usually heading to bed around 1a.m. I'm sure I will have no problem falling asleep tonight! Some people think that working just 4 days in a row is a piece of cake, but when you work a job that is physically as well as emotionally draining, a few days in a row can really exhaust a person. I'm reaching levels of pure exhaustion. Must sleep...

Two of Four

Holy shit balls man. Tonight was one of the craziest nights I've had as charge nurse. Man oh man. Thank goodness for great coworkers. On this National Nurse's Day, let's take a moment to appreciate all the hard work that nurses do. So much seems to go unnoticed and people don't always realize just how intense and stressful nursing is. We make life or death decisions at the drop of a hat, are constantly monitoring patients for god knows what could go wrong with this surgical, that admit, or the ICU transfer. Is someone going to code today? I don't know. Am I ready for it in case it happens? You bet your ass I am! I comfort the family members of a dying patient and make sure they are comfortable in their final moments. I laugh with the patient who came in with a broken ankle because he tripped over his dog. I get a funny feeling in my stomach while assessing a patient and know something's not quite right, and I figure it out before the patient is in serious danger. I answer that lady's call light for the hundredth time. Why? Because I'm a nurse. And even after a terrible shift where our patients have eaten us alive and spit us back out, we come back the next day ready to take on the world. There are some people close to me that don't understand just how stressful my job is. Just because I may not bring it up at the dinner table, doesn't mean that everything is peachy. Nursing is a difficult profession. I absolutely love what I do, but there are some days that I ask myself "Is this all really worth it?". Often in these times of doubt, I am quickly reminded by an appreciative patient, a simple "thank you for being my nurse", or by taking care of a patient with a sense of humor like mine, that yes indeed it IS all worth it. 

One of Four

I accomplished several things today. One of them was earning a living. Which wasn't such a chore this evening because, once again, some cool people were working! Even some people I rarely get to see, but always share a few laughs with. I also completed the difficult task of calling the pharmacy to refill my prescription. The difficult part was hearing that the pharmacist needed to call my doctor to authorize more refills, as I had run out of available refills. Whew. Tough work. I also had to answer a phone call from my doctor's office, to let me know they had called in my prescription and to also remind me that I was due for my annual physical. It was at this time that I made an appointment for that as well. Like I said. Busy, productive day! Made my appointment to get my body tuned up and maybe an oil change for me. Not exactly sure how that works, but I'm sure they'll use enough lube right? 

Not What I Planned

Today didn't go quite as I had planned, but that's okay. Plans changed for the better. I had originally planned on running a few errands to get things done, but I decided that those errands could wait and enjoyed a lovely ME day. Just me and Easter. We took a very long walk this morning to get our steps in and we enjoyed the wonderful sunshine. We came home, had breakfast together, watched some Dog the Bounty Hunter (an old favorite and guilty pleasure), and even took a nap together! Later, we made dinner and a lovely friend stopped over to have dinner with us and she even brought dessert for us! After she left, I even had some energy to clean up around the house a bit. Now, Easter and I are cuddled in bed, ready to read a bit before bed, and listen to the wind blow outside. 

Rough Night

Work was very rough tonight. For all the crap that was thrown at everyone, they did a great job and handled it with grace. Makes me proud to work with such a great team! This post is gonna be rather short due to the fact that I'm pooped from work and now I'm starting to have some of my infamous abdominal pain. Better get this taken care of before it keeps me awake all night. A little tylenol and zofran should do the trick. And maybe if they would just remove my gallbladder things would be peachy all the time. But what do I know? I'm just a nurse after all. 

Wanna Taste My Muffins?

What a night! I haven't laughed until I've cried in a long while! My night, dare I say week, was made tonight. The group of coworkers and friends I worked with this evening was by far the greatest. I could not stop laughing! It was in that moment, the one where I was crying from laughing so hard, was when I realized how truly lucky and blessed I am to have such amazing weirdos in my life. I found a group of people who totally get me and my humor. It's not too often that I find people that completely get my messed up sense of humor. I've had "friends" come and go, but I know the ones I have made will always be there for me. Plus, they know too much so I'd have to kill them if they ever leave me. So, thank you to all those amazingly funny weirdos that I have come to call my friends. I couldn't make it through this life with out you. New and old, I love you all. 

Soothing Sunday

Today was a day of reflecting. Isn't that what Sundays were intended for all along? I spent the early afternoon doing a little shopping alone and, in between thinking horrible things about the annoying shoppers, I was able to think about some things that I wanted to write about actually. I was thinking about how important communication is. Whether it be between children and their parents, friends, or couples, communication is so important to keep the relationship going. Now, to answer your question, NO nothing "happened" in my life to spark this topic. I happened to read a post on Facebook about the importance of communication in a relationship and it just stuck with me. The article brought up several valid points, but the one that stuck with me was about our relationships with our significant others. It asked if you had ever been hurt, or upset about unmet or unrealistic expectations. But then, it also asked if you had communicated these expectations, no matter how insignificant or silly, with your partner. It was like a lightbulb went off in my brain. Yes, I have felt let down by moments that didn't go as I had hoped or expected. But did I ever tell anyone these thoughts? Of course not. So who am I to blame? The other person for not being able to read my mind? Nope. Myself. Because am I a mind reader. Nope. Maybe a tad psychic, but not a mind reader. So how could I possibly expect someone else to read my mind? It seems so simple, yet I will admit, it is difficult. You don't want to put out those silly little thoughts, dreams, or expectations just for someone to criticize you or laugh at you. But then again, if you are in a loving relationship, you should be able to trust the other person, and trust that they WANT to hear those little tiny details. Any who, it is definitely food for thought and something to work into your life one way or another. I know I will use this enlightening moment to better my relationships with others!

As for my little psychic ability, maybe we will cover that in a coming blog.